What is a good habit and what is bad one?

Habits are behaviours that have been repeated enough times to become automatic and hard to give up. Their purpose is to solve problems and stresses you face regularly with as little effort and energy as possible.

When we repeat a habit, we are always looking for an outcome, and obviously we are more likely to repeat a behaviour followed by satisfying consequences, satisfying outcomes, than to repeat behaviours that produce unpleasant consequences. Pleasure teaches your brain that an action is worth remembering and repeating. So, we create habits to obtain outcomes that satisfy us and solve our problems.

Solution: smoke a cigarette to relieve your tension.

Should I have left it alone and kept quiet? I came out as gay to my adult kids last week. Age 61 married 15 years, divorced for 20. I feel so guilty for ruining their lives by living a lie.

Problem: you feel really stressed.

HABIT DEFINITION

EXAMPLE

What are some signs that someone may be being stalked by an organization or secret society? How can they find out for sure?

Solution (habit to implement in our lives): hit the gym or do some sort of physical activity at least 3 days per week.

Problem: you want to become healthier and achieve a better physique.

BAD HABIT: Smoking

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The problem is that working out one day, one week or one month is not going to be enough to achieve your ultimate desired outcome, that is your dream physique. You must make working out part of your lifestyle and be willing to put in the work and suffer during a lot of workout sessions before you can notice significant results. So, the immediate outcome sucks, but the long-term reward is really satisfying.

WHY DO WE CREATE HABITS?

GOOD HABIT: Working out.

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As soon as you smoke, you obtain an instant and satisfying outcome, which helps you relieve your stress efficiently, but the problem is that if you keep smoking every day for the rest of your life, you are more likely to develop bad outcomes in the future, such as lung cancer.

DIFFERENCE BETWEEN GOOD AND BAD HABITS

Every habit produces multiple outcomes across time. The main difference between good and bad habits lies in the moment the outcomes occur: bad habits give you immediate rewards, while good habits offer delayed rewards. The problem with bad habits is the fact that they give you an instant pleasure in the present moment, but the long-term outcomes are often unpleasant and bad. With good habits, it’s the reverse: the present outcome is unenjoyable, but the future one is good. In other words, the costs, the bad part, of your good habits is in the present moment, while the costs of your bad habits are in the future. Bad habits are usually the so called “instant gratification activities”, the ones that offer you an immediate spike of dopamine (scrolling on TikTok, unhealthy food, porn and masturbation, drugs, cigarettes…). The more immediate the pleasure, the worse a habit usually is.

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Remember: most people will spend all day chasing quick hits of satisfaction, chasing instant dopamine, but the truly successful people are the ones who travelled the road of delayed gratification, who were willing to ignore an immediate reward in favour of a delayed one to succeed.